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Tuesday, May 1, 2018

An Ode to The Call Center Rep


I dread every time day turns into dusk
I know very soon I have to do the same redundant task
All throughout the day I toss in bed
But wake up still feeling like a zombie from the Walking Dead
By eleven I eat dinner which is technically my breakfast
Just like me, my tummy needs to adjust
With a quick prayer I step into the darkness outside
Hoping no harm befalls me as I catch my ride

Logging in just in the nick of time
I checked the monitor and gasped “God! 250 callers on the line!”
“TOOOOT!” goes the headset and even before I could greet the customer “Hi!”
“Get me your freakin’ supervisor!” I pressed mute and sighed “Oh my!”
“It’s gonna be another long shift…” I whispered real quick
Another long night in what so far had been an eternally long week
Bio-break! Bio-break! OMG I need to go to the john
But sup warned me “No unauthorized AUX or else you're done!”

Stress, fatigue, hypertension, depression and obesity
Those HMO cards eventually will come in really handy
‘Tis ironic that while work can really make me sick
I cannot miss work otherwise I get termed real quick
And as if all that stress is not enough
Sup warns me, “Your stats! Pull them up!”
Often I wondered how others do that
Receiving irate calls yet getting no DSAT

And then there’s this power tripping fraternity
who feel they’re heaven’s gift to humanity
Strutting around the floor flirting and doing as they please
Like demigods that us mere mortals have to appease
Tough luck should you be unfortunate enough to earn their ire
For certain they’ll concoct a plot to get you fired
And like fools they conjure up team activities to motivate
In a vain attempt to control their high attrition rate

Many times have I swore I cannot take this bullshit anymore
I’m done being nice to customers who keep calling me a whore
I’m tired of constantly being under the threat of termination
Or of waking up after dusk but still feeling the exhaustion
Many times have I told myself I will quit today
Only to be stopped by the thought of the bills I need to pay
And just like a line from a song I heard this eve
You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.

- original poem by Jaime ''daddy jim" Lim

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